Letter for Him

Dear Lloyd,

I don't know how to start this letter, because I'm afraid it might be the end of our good acquaintance, or if I'm lucky, the realization of my dreams, which is for you to love me as I love you. I told myself I might as well take the risks because it's the only remedy I know that could unburden this feeling I've been keeping ever since.

I love you. I know you'll find it hard to believe me if I tell you now how much you mean to me. I could hardly understand what I feel for you, knowing how to endure those long sleepless nights just thinking only of you I've never been like this before. I just don't know how to pour out my feelings for you. I wanted to find the perfect words to make you realize how much I need you and love you, but words continue to elude me, what would they be? Something poetic? I'm sure it should be heartfelt and out of the ordinary. I'm afraid it's no use; every time I look at you, the words came out the same… I love you!

I still remember the first night you look me into my eyes and smile I knew right there and then something amazing feelings will develop inside my heart. The night that you touch my hands and the night I feel your lips in my lips was the best memorable moments that ever happen to me. (So funny because I was inside the train and I can help but smile and everybody look at me confuse in their face.)

However that night  I feel cheerless because what if that was the last night I will ever see you again, but I keep my finger cross hoping there will be more moment that I can show how much you mean to me.  Then the sleepless night changes with happiness when finally we will meet up again. I said to myself that “whatever happens tonight I will treasure it, take time for everything, and enjoy every moment that you will spend time for me.”

Life is a gamble we all know that, we do not know if we will won or lose until we never even bet or try. In my life I consider it as a gamble because if I will not do it or try it, I will not know if I will win or lose, otherwise if I will enjoy it or not, or else if I will be happy or sad. I am not afraid in any challenges in life but as we all know everybody has a weakness and for me that was falling in love with someone, because when emotion involve into a human no matter how smart you are, you will be stupid when you fall in love. Every problem we can easily find a way out but being in love and heartbroken its take time to solve and find the answer because you need to consider many things.

Telling you all this was really a enormous gamble that I ever done so far because it is involve my emotion, whatever outcome of this confession of mine I will accept it with all my heart, because regret is the last thing that I don’t want to feel, I made a move, I made the decision, I am the one who rule my life so why I will have the feeling of regret.

I wish that there will be a chance that I will show towards you how much I love you, how much I want to take care of you in my own way, secure and comport you every time you feel confuse and sad. And I wish that you will give me a chance to know me more.

Ending this letter now was the final step of my 25 principles in life and this 25 principle of mine I call it “Do it now”, because I know the price of failure is so much higher than the price of success.

Love and Care,

Dianne