Dear Lloyd,
I don't know how to
start this letter, because I'm afraid it might be the end of our good
acquaintance, or if I'm lucky, the realization of my dreams, which is for you
to love me as I love you. I told myself I might as well take the risks because
it's the only remedy I know that could unburden this feeling I've been keeping
ever since.
I love you. I know
you'll find it hard to believe me if I tell you now how much you mean to me. I
could hardly understand what I feel for you, knowing how to endure those long
sleepless nights just thinking only of you I've never been like this before. I
just don't know how to pour out my feelings for you. I wanted to find the
perfect words to make you realize how much I need you and love you, but words
continue to elude me, what would they be? Something poetic? I'm sure it should
be heartfelt and out of the ordinary. I'm afraid it's no use; every time I look
at you, the words came out the same… I love you!
I still remember the
first night you look me into my eyes and smile I knew right there and then
something amazing feelings will develop inside my heart. The night that you
touch my hands and the night I feel your lips in my lips was the best memorable
moments that ever happen to me. (So funny because I was inside the train and I
can help but smile and everybody look at me confuse in their face.)
However that
night I feel cheerless because what if
that was the last night I will ever see you again, but I keep my finger cross
hoping there will be more moment that I can show how much you mean to me. Then the sleepless night changes with
happiness when finally we will meet up again. I said to myself that “whatever happens
tonight I will treasure it, take time for everything, and enjoy every moment
that you will spend time for me.”
Life is a gamble we
all know that, we do not know if we will won or lose until we never even bet or
try. In my life I consider it as a gamble because if I will not do it or try
it, I will not know if I will win or lose, otherwise if I will enjoy it or not,
or else if I will be happy or sad. I am not afraid in any challenges in life
but as we all know everybody has a weakness and for me that was falling in love
with someone, because when emotion involve into a human no matter how smart you
are, you will be stupid when you fall in love. Every problem we can easily find
a way out but being in love and heartbroken its take time to solve and find the
answer because you need to consider many things.
Telling you all this
was really a enormous gamble that I ever done so far because it is involve my
emotion, whatever outcome of this confession of mine I will accept it with all
my heart, because regret is the last thing that I don’t want to feel, I made a
move, I made the decision, I am the one who rule my life so why I will have the
feeling of regret.
I wish that there will
be a chance that I will show towards you how much I love you, how much I want
to take care of you in my own way, secure and comport you every time you feel confuse
and sad. And I wish that you will give me a chance to know me more.
Ending this letter now
was the final step of my 25 principles in life and this 25 principle of mine I
call it “Do it now”, because I know the price of failure is so much higher than
the price of success.
Love and Care,
Dianne
